10 New Things You Didn't Know about Author Sydney Molare'

1. I'm moving away from writing the "boy meets girl and they screw" type of erotica. I'm marrying off my couples and then working the sex. I don't think we see enough married peoples good sex in novels these days. Too much of making the grass look greener by cheating and not committing. We need to recognize the "good things" we already have.

2. I love "old" stuff, esp furniture and jewelry. I am the thrift store queen. They know me by name!

3. I am also NOT a name brand junkie. If it looks good and has an even better price...SOLD! I don't care whose name is on the pocket/hip/leg/shoe, etc.

4. My last contest, The Pssst...Wanna be my Publicist contest got soundly booed by publicist all over the internet. The nice nasty comments...I could feel the love. LOL. BUT the end result was that I made more than 4200 new contacts. Not bad, huh?

5. My first tour partners were Tina McKinney (All That Drama) and Masseyree (It Just Gets Better With Time).

6. I dislike reptiles with a passion- no, veterinarians don't like all animals.

7. I won the Mississippi Best Author Award for 2006.

8. I am a morning person. I AM the perky person talking up a storm at 8am that you hate!

9. I am an insomniac. I haven't figured out the cycle, but it comes and goes on its own, more coming than going.

10. I am psychic. Really. Here's my latest prediction: My next book will be a blockbuster, chart roaring success! Believe it and receive it!

Visit Sydney Molare' at http://www.sydneymolare.com/ or
http://www.sydneymolare.blogspot.com/

The Email

Thought for today: If you are having an affair, do not and I repeat DO NOT leave a paper trail via letters and most importantly via the internet. Your spouse just might find out.

Okay, now that I have that out in the air, let me first say, this is not about me (smile). Imagine coming home after a fulfilling day at church, turning on your computer and opening up your email from somebody's spouse blasting their spouse and lover to everyone on their spouse's mailing list. You're probably like, what in the world is she talking about.

To make a long story short. Supposedly, allegedly, a man found out that his wife was cheating and decided to put the man who his wife is supposedly cheating with ON BLAST. He sent out an email to EVERYONE on the mailing list and pretty much put ALL of their business not just in the streets but on the world wide web. Now, I know the guy he is accusing, but I haven't emailed him to say "Is this true" or not because I'm sure if it is, he's going through public humiliation at this point and needs to figure out a way to do some damage control (I should be a publicist...smile).

We never know what we would do when going through something traumatic, but I would hope that I wouldn't stoop to the level of putting it out on the net.

My question is do you think it was wrong for the husband to send out a broadcast message or justified because his wife and this guy shouldn't have been cheating in the first place?

Move Haters out the Way

"There's one thing worse than a liar and a thief, and that's a hater. You see - a liar will lie to you, and a thief will steal from you, but a hater will do all of the above and then some..."- Libra! (1973 - )

So many times people who are close to us are the ones who don't want to see us succeed. As long as you're down in the gutter, they are cheering you on. When you start living your dreams, they want to become supercritical and sprinkle doubt in your mind and hate on your dreams.

For example, I am going to use being a writer as an example. You may have been writing for years and you FINALLY get your first book published. The first time out, you self publish. What does the hater say? "It's not like you're with a real publisher." Your books are at all major book stores. What does the hater say? "Is your book in Wal-mart?" As if Wal-mart is the only place that sells books and if it's not there, well you get the point. Okay, so you get the book deal with what folks may say is a "real publisher." What does the hater say? "I thought you were with a real publisher now, so why are you still working?" News flash, some writers still have to work to make ends meet even with a book deal. There's more. Now your book is in Wal-mart. Let me remind you, books at Wal-mart are discounted. What does the hater say? "It's about time I saw your book at Wal-mart. Can I get a free autographed copy?" Free, not no, but "h-e-double hockey sticks" no.

I could go on and on with examples on various situations in life, but I won't. Life is too short for dealing with haters. If there's some in your way, move them out of the way. Stop answering your phone when they call. If you see them walking down the street, back up, turn around, do what you have to do and go the other way. What if the haters are people you know online? Have you heard of the delete button? You don't have to go back and forth with the hater in email or a message board, just delete the message. "What if the person lives with you?" Tough one, but do like most kids do, have selective hearing? Learn how to tune them out.

Continue to work towards your dreams and don't allow anybody to rain hate on your parade. This is your world and they can either get with the program or move out of the way.

Can a Tiger Change it's spots (oops I meant stripes)

How many times will you put yourself through the same types of pain? When is enough really ENOUGH?

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but sometimes you can't. For example, a man I dearly loved. I thought the second time around things would be different. In fact, he assured me things would be and because I was starry-eyed in love I believed him. Of course the first month or two, he was on his best behavior. I was wined and dined and all that jazz. My guards went down and then one day I woke up and he was back to his old tricks. When I brought it up to him (because communication has never been one of my weak points), he thought I was nagging for no reason. Red flag.

When did voicing your concerns become nagging? If you're with someone in what is supposed to be a committed relationship, shouldn't you be able to tell that person any and everything and you work it out?

Anyway, to make a long story short, I thought this man had changed for the better, but he didn't change his stripes, but only changed his spot(s)--he moved from one part of the Dallas metroplex to another (new spot); he no longer had the same job, had a better one (new spot); told me all the things he thought I wanted to hear (new spot) but that's the thing...when he got tired of pretending, the REAL man resurfaced and all I saw before me was the same man I thought I had left behind.

Lesson for me, an ex is an ex for a reason and shall remain an ex.

Have you ever gone back to an ex? Has one of your siblings done something and you swore you wouldn't give in to them the next time? What about the friend that drains you with his or her drama but is never there to listen to you? When do you finally say "enough is enough?"

Monday Writer's Rant

Thank you all for joining me over at my new blog. I hope you like the new look. I decieded to move the "My Invisible Husband" blog over here. It'll still have the same flair, I hope. I hope you participate in the discussions. All opinions are welcome.

Now on to today's rant. Over the weekend I received a request asking me if I would like to submit my poetry to "their" site. Cool, no big deal. I'm a writer and although it's not a paying gig, I don't mind sharing my poems every now and then. The only condition I gave the person was, "use my byline" (which doesn't cost a thing). I was shocked that the person felt like I was demanding because I requested that my byline be used along with my poem. I had to read their email twice but to make a long story short, I told them I didn't have time to go back and forth on the issue and that I would pass.

I'm ranting about it because why do people always expect writers to do things for free? If I was a singer, you wouldn't ask me to do a concert for free (although for charity I would). So if I say I will let you use my poem for free, why complain because I asked you to add a short 2 sentence bio to go with it. Don't make sense to me.

I was trying to decide on what my topic would be this month over at www.blogginginblack.com, but thanks to the person, I now have a topic. This post will be expanded on the 9th over at Blogging in Black.

In the meantime, do you have some "Oh no they didn't" moments?

7 Things

7 things I plan to do before I die:

1. Travel to every state in the US at least once.
2. Learn how to swim.
3. Learn how to speak Spanish fluently.
4. Learn how to speak French fluently.
5. Visit the Pyramids in Egypt.
6. Leave a legacy for my kids or nieces/nephews.
7. Develop a way to keep spammers out of my email box.

7 things I can do:

1. Create stories with a twist.
2. Choose songs that will be hits prior to them ever being
played on the radio.
3. Dance like Janet Jackson.
4. Make the best homemade banana pudding this side of
the Mississippi River.
5. Talk on the phone, check email, chat online and hold a conversation
with someone in the room at the same time.
6. A good listener.
7. Travel by myself and have a great time.

7 things I cannot do:
1. Read while a car or plane is in motion.
2. Put up with fake people.
3. Mow a yard (that's a man's job)
4. Drink a coke when I want a sprite.
5. Eat a hamburger with onions.
6. Put up with bad kids.
7. Think of something to put on this list.

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1. Sexy Eyes
2. Ability to hold a decent conversation
3. Pretty Smile
4. Body language
5. The size of his shoe (get your mind out the gutter)
6. A man playing basketball or football
7. His ability to make me feel like the only woman in the room.

7 things that I say most often:

1. Whatever.
2. Anyway.
3. Please.
4. Don't Get it Twisted.
5. I know they didn't.
6. Life is too short for BS.
7. Don't even worry about it.

7 Celebrity crushes:

1. Denzel Washington
2. Shemar Moore
3. Morris Chestnut
4. Brad Pitt
5. Blair Underwood
6. Boris Kodjoe
7. LL Cool J

Introducing Me

Shelia M. Goss is the Essence Magazine Best Selling Author of My Invisible Husband, Roses are thorns, Violets are true and Paige's Web. She's also honored in the book Literary Divas: The Top 100+ Most Admired African American Women in Literature. Her short stories and articles have appeared in various publications such as Black Romance Magazine, Jolie Magazine, etc. Besides writing fiction, Shelia is an entertainment writer. To learn more, please visit her website at